In previous posts we’ve discussed two important things we’re learning about transition and change:
1. The words you use are really important.
2. Always tie the change to the cause.
Here’s the third lesson:
3. Always try to make friends, not enemies. Anytime you are trying to steer the ship in a new direction, there will be a certain number of people who are pretty sure you are headed way off course. The more spiritual (religious) they are, the more Scripture they will use, and they will tend to throw in highly charged words and phrases like “Ichabod” (as in “This change assures that the glory has departed from this place”), “compromiser” (as in “If we really loved Jesus, we wouldn’t be doing this”), and “the Bible clearly teaches” (as in “If you saw it the way I see it, you’d be closer to right”).
When we decided to transition into a multisite church using video teaching, the phrase I seldom heard was “Wow, Greg, that sounds like a great idea.” I heard the other words and phrases a lot more often. My natural response is to square my shoulders for a fight and assume an “us versus them” posture. Over the years, I’ve learned four words that have helped to turn potential enemies into friends of the change. Here they are:
“You might be right”
When a reluctant follower voices concern over the direction we are taking, if we will respond with, “You know, you might be right; tell me why you feel that way,” the result is usually a helpful conversation. Often, in the end, you wind up with a passionate evangelist of the proposed change rather than a determined enemy. Granted, this doesn’t always happen, but at least you give them a chance to feel that their concerns are being heard. Sometimes it’s an opportunity to clean up flawed language and tie your future communication more closely to the cause. And besides, I think I remember Jesus saying something once about the benefits of being a peacemaker. If you’re going to lead through multiple transitions, you are going to need all the friends you can get!
Agree?
With a humble heart and a voice of humility we are able overcome. Everyone especially those who have questions and different opinions are valuable. If we let them know they are valuable by being humble and not having an attitude of being all knowing, they want to be an ally. Thank you pastor for the reminder.
Comment by Chuckkanupp.wordpres — March 28, 2010 @ 12:13 pm
I agree. Wish I'd known this earlier in my ministry.
Comment by Gary Combs — March 29, 2010 @ 5:27 pm