The best sermon I've ever heard

I attended a funeral yesterday.

You don't usually enjoy funerals, at least I don't. They're about grief, heartbreak, sorrow, shock, loss, pain... not the types of things you anticipate and look forward too, much less get much joy out of. You don't know what to say to the family...you feel awkward even trying.  Funerals are endured not enjoyed.

Yesterday's funeral had all of that, but it also had a surprising element of joy.

It was the funeral for the wife of my friend Larry Burgbacher. By all accounts she was an amazing lady...pastors wife, mother, friend, leader of women...tragically taken in a car wreck two blocks from her home. Just 54 years old...the same age as my mother when she left us so soon.

Her 3 children, each involved in ministry...two in other countries, gave moving testimonies to the value that she brought to their home. Through their tears they opened a window for us into the woman they knew as mom. 

I scanned the program to see who would bring the message of comfort for the family and friends and was surprised to see that Larry would be the preacher at the funeral of his wife.  My mind was flooded with thoughts: How difficult would that be?  How will he hold up?  Could I do it?...I didn't even want to go there.

Can I tell you...it was the best message I've ever heard.

He began by establishing the obvious...there were many capable candidates to deliver the sermon that day. Friends in ministry, mentors, each who would have been honored to have been asked and would have no doubt done a good job. But, he said, he knew a secret that none of us were privy too. On more than one occasion she had let him know that he was her favorite preacher. Armed with that knowledge, how could he not be the one to speak at this, her final service in the church they had led together for the past 24 years.

It was in that moment that I abandoned every effort at dignity and wiped my eyes and rapidly running nose on the sleeve of the suit I was wearing, reserved mainly for occasions like this.

He said that for the first two days after her death he was in a fog, not knowing if he could bear the pain, and crying out to God with questions...Why? Why now?...knowing that the answers may be hidden until eternity. Then he thought about the roles she played for him, their family, and the church. She prayed for him, encouraged him, cheered them on, was a role model for the women in the community. Who would do that now?

On the third day he got his answer and the peace that comes with it.

She would. She would continue to fill the roles.

God showed him that she was now a part of the mighty cloud of witnesses referred to in Hebrews, and that her role in heaven was simply an expanded version of what she did on earth. She was now free to do more perfectly what she had attempted in this dimension. She would continue to be the intercessor for their family, the one cheering them on until the work is complete.

I guess I knew that...but I had forgotten. Its easy to forget when you get fuzzy about where your treasure is...where your final home is located. We miss them, but somehow they haven't missed a thing.

Larry kept his composure pretty well ...until close to the end. He told us about celebrating their wedding anniversary the previous weekend. He held her in his arms as they took a trip down memory lane, visiting the highlights of 34 years together...not knowing that that chapter of their lives was coming to an end. Then he quoted us Yankee great Lou Gehrig upon his announcement to his fans that he had ALS and would have to retire from baseball - "When you have a wife who has been a tower of strength and shown more courage than you dreamed existed, that's the finest I know. People say I've been given a bad break, but today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth. I've got an awful lot to live for."

At that point we all lost it along with our heart broken friend...each of us quietly wondering if we would have had the strength to do what he had just done...hoping that we would never face a moment like this.

Yesterday I felt joy in a sad place as I was reminded of the foundations of my faith by a man who'd had his shaken. I think it is probably what the Apostle Paul meant when he said that we mourn, but not as those without a hope.

Thanks Larry...you're my hero.

Comments

[Sandy]

This posting was an excellent reflection of Pastor's sermon as the service. I have tried and tried to explain it to people, but I have failed miserably. With your permission, I will print this off so I can explain it to them more eloquently. Have you considered posting this to the FaithisHere.org website? I am sure Pastor would appreciate it.

[gregsur]

You may use it any way you wish.

[Glenn Hair]

Thanks Pastor Greg. You gave me a little insight into a person I did not know, but have read that she was a true Christian mom, wife, and "assistant" pastor. I wish I had known her. Losing a loved one prematurely certainly puts things into perspective. I will pray for the family and the church. Great blog!!

[Julie]

....that was surely "the best post I've ever heard" ..or read.

[Chuck & Jan Carroll]

Awesome blog! We are certainly going to miss Tania. But as Larry so wonderfully conveyed, she's not missing anything! How great is our God!

[Jeri]

Thanks for the words you said. I tried to describe the homegoing service to a group of people this week and they just couldn't understand. When I talked about the joy and love, one lady who goes to mass every morning, said "Do you mean it wasn't solemn?" I said it was a service that honored her and was healing for a hurting church. Anyway, I printed your blog and sent it because you explained it better than I could.

[Kimberly Power]

Thank you so much for sharing this! I am originally from Charleston and grew up at Faith Assembly. My husband is in the military and I was unable to attend the memorial. I am very thankful that you shared this powerful testimony on your blog, so that others can be touched by Pastor Larry's faith that continues to move mountains.

[Julia Chism]

That message hit so close to home as to how her death affected me. She has touched so many lives of so many people upon her departure. The song that comes to mind is "I will praise you in this storm" by Casting Crowns. My storms are nothing compared to Pastor Larry, his children, and all of her loved ones. I do not know how he managed to compose himself. I know it is through lifting him up in prayer that it was possible. She was a woman of God that I need to attain to be. A mentor. I pray for their family and applaud their courage.
Julia

[Nate Williams]

Greg, thanks for sharing. My wife and I desperately tried to make it back to Summerville to be there, but it just didn't work out. Your post was the next best thing. While can't imagine what that must have been like for Pastor Burgbacher, I expect nothing less from him.

[Cyndy Morris]

Thank you for telling us how a funeral can be sad and joyful simultaneously, how we can mourn and still hope. I do not know Larry or Tania, but feel I do now. I can relate to Tania as I am about her age, have been married 34 years, am a mother of three, and a pastor's wife. You shared of her cheering and praying for her family. Look what they are doing now, the answer to her prayers; her fruit, God's fruit! Prov. 31:30,31 rings so true for Tania! I want to follow her example, praying for mine to "complete the good work God began". I will enjoy thinking of Tania now, cheering me on to run my race. I look forward to meeting her one day and joining her glorious pep squad!

[Debbie O'Kelley]

Always to remember...Jeremiah 29:11...I know the plans I have for you...to give you a hope.

[Cindy Jackson]

My daughter attends Faith Christian School, so I have had the priviledge of hearing Pastor Larry preach and the priviledge of meeting his wife. She was an amazing woman of God. I was in such shock when I heard of her accident. For days after I still could not believe it. Pastor Larry has truely demonstrated the strenth through Christ in speaking at his wife's funeral. My prayers are with him and his family and the church family at Faith Assembly. God Bless, Cindy Jackson

[laurie eller]

Oh that was wonderfully written,thank you. Our family did not attend the funeral but would have liked to. Thank you for giving us a look into what it would have been like. We miss Tania and love the Burgbacher family dearly, they are such great people.

Warm regards,
laurie eller

[Claudia Redd]

Wow Greg! Thank you so much for this post. I am just sorry that I am seeing now for the first time. Didn't know I could be more impressed with Larry than I already was but.... You allowed me to have a glimpse into Tania's farewell service and for that I am most thankful.

Grateful,
Claudia Redd